Raven, little black Raven,

You gotta catch those tears from heaven,

And learn to fly.

No more waitin’ for that old wind to be just right,

You just spread your wings and keep on singing,

Keep singing into the night.

He’s gonna carry you, Child,

Carry you along,

But once those tears from heaven hit the ground,

All you got is a song.

You gotta catch them while they’re still crying,

Even if they’re crying all night long,

Cause once they hit the ground, Child,

All you got is a song. 

Raven, little black Raven, now don’t you cry,

Spread those broken wings and take to the sky.

What if I fall? What if I fail? What if I die? I want so badly to be in control. But I’m not. Really. I can plan. I can skip the cake, replace the worn tires, have the labs drawn. But in the end, I’m not in control.

My physical self hates that. My analytical medical mind hates that. It’s to the point where my mental calculator analyzes the risk/benefit ratio of every strip of bacon and square of chocolate. Before I know it I’m entombed by the diet police in my mind, munching on raw celery and hummus at the steakhouse watching other people laughing and eating together, enjoying each other’s company.

What if I fall? I get up and try again. What if I fail? I get up and try again. What if I die? This body’s wearing out. I won’t need it much longer. Once I’m free of it I will rise up. I’ve memorized Isaiah 40:31 “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.”

What if I quit waiting for the “wind to be just right” and I spread my broken wings and take to the sky? The view from up there is a little different. The higher I fly the smaller everything looks down here. What if He has really given me a spirit of power, love and a sound mind, not a spirit of fear? And all I have to do is take it? Power. Love. Sound mind. Definitely worth flying for.